.... caring earphones with you incase your child has to use a public bathroom, or anything else loud...
....having to leave the grocery store and having to skip all the other stops because your son is too overwhelmed ... not getting a moment to yourself EVER.... when you worry daily constantly about your son..... when you've read over 20 books on SPD talked to more therapists and doctors that you can count, belong to ten different SPD groups and can never have enough information on the subject.... when all you want to do is one on one play therapy with him all day to help him but you are extremely exhausted.... having the most hyper child anyone has ever meet in there lives.... having others tell you to your face constantly you are a bad Mom because you cannot control your child.... protecting his brother from harm from him because he doesn't understand he can hurt him.... spending MONTHS obsessing worrying what education route will be best for him knowing he can't sit still in a traditional class, and having to find a place that isn't too overwhelming from too much noise or visuals for your son... listing to your son talking about how much his body hurts.... spending three times as much on food safe for him.... working around three different therapists schedules... having to answer what EVERY noise is over and over and over and over and over and over all day long everyday, noises you yourself have to stop everything your doing and strain to hear like a car alarm 3 blocks away when all your windows are closed.... when you give up having the t.v. on because it overwhelms your child.... when you give up going to people's houses because your afraid he be given junk food.... having to explain to a preschooler why he's not aloud to have a sucker he was just given.... dealing with the temper tantrums when having to deny him candy that is not "safe" for him to eat... when you know even though he's 3 now he still can't have toys with small parts because he puts most of everything he touches in his mouth.... getting bitten is normal.... making room in your living room for a trampoline.... buying a two year old pull-up bars.... having to listen to temper tantrums because you cut his food.... trying to explain his food is not hurt when he bites it.... knowing what fabrics he doesn't like against his skin... worrying about his future more times then one could count everyday.... wanting to go to work so bad but knowing you can't because he needs so much constant care.... not being able to go anywhere by yourself unless you sneak out at nap time and be home by the time he wakes so you can be there every second he is awake because he needs so much care... having to give up everything you do so because your day is spent keeping your kids safe every second they are awake.... praying like crazy he will be able to control his spd.... seeing your child work with his therapist trying to understand different emotions but only recognizing the happy emotion.... having to hear everything you say repeated over and over, having your own echo machine.... having to answer the same question five times in a roll while he processes it.... him crying he's hurt when you touch him lightly... wondering what form of discipline you can use when talking doesn't work, you don't want to yell scream or hit him, but when he's in time outs he bangs his head violently on his door.... canceling vacations because you know you could never leave him with anyone because he needs so much care and he needs to follow such a strict diet... not being able to vacation with him because he has trouble sitting still in the car and on trains, and can't fly on a plane because it hurts his ears....having to shut the computer off because the humm is too loud and hurts his ears... avoiding people coming over, or going to people's houses because they have the t.v. on too loud for him...not wanting people over in fear they will bring soda over he can't handle.... staying up way too late because it is the only time the whole day you have time to eat, and sit down..... loving him enough that you always feel guilty your not doing enough....
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