New Year, real me!!

As of late I have been reflecting on where I have been and where I want to be with my life.   Even though I haven't purposely followed the life I really wanted to for various reasons, fear, lack of knowledge etc...  I somehow wound up in a great place anyway.  Although I didn't always realize it I have found a wonderful Husband that is very loving and always there for me.  I have the most talented, fun, and loving boys a Mother could ever dream of.  To add to the mix we have the best standard poodle ever!  So yes God has blessed me in so many ways without my even having much of an effort for my part. 

I came to a realization sometime in the last month or so.  Something that's basic knowledge, and yet easily missed.  I make my own life.   Okay God always has the biggest hand of course.  But though the wonderful gift of free will I can help control the path I take.  Now like I said this is common knowledge but yet I never really realized the potential that was handed to me though the power of free will.

So here is what I did upon realization.  I woke up.  I peeled and scraped at this mold that has shaped me for so long.  There were layers of self-doubt, past pains, other people's perception of me that I have feel into, and so on.  So many layers, upon layers I didn't even knew existed.  In truth it took decades for this mold to form so it's not completely off but little by little I'm working at freeing myself as completely as I can.

The layers of what society believes to be true have thrown many curve balls my way.  See there's a certain way people think.  Perhaps a sane way, however anyone who knows me know that I have a certain level of insanity built into me.  You can call me crazy, a dreamer, a person who lacks reality, call it what you may.  It comes down to free spirited thinking.  For instance the world tells us we need degrees to achieve great things.  We have to have knowledge and experience and the majority of all these sane people in the world believe this knowledge and experience has to come from school.  As a result most businesses won't even look at you if you don't have a college degree.  Now I actually believe this to some extent for instance a surgeon really does need Anatomy and Physiology for instance, even my sister who does taxes has to be educated on the current tax breaks and such.  But does every job they claim need a degree really need one?  Heck no!  My Husband knows IT better than anyone I have ever meet.  He knows it better than a lot of IT experts to which has been proven time and time again.  We've had many instances where friends would tell us so and so is wrong with their computer they just had this major IT expert check it out, and my Husband would correct them and say no it sounds more like this or this.  Then upon his own observing and testing he would fix it his way and low and behold he was right.  Did my Husband have a college degree?  No!  Now at the time of writing this he is actually getting one only because the problem is companies won't take a chance and hire him without it.  It's ashame because he could blow people with Major's in IT out of the water at any time.  But see here lies opportunity. 

Why waste time getting a degree when you could just be doing.  Not all cases can do this, but what if instead of getting that degree that takes 4 years to get learning things he already know, most of which he'll never use again in his life; what if instead he received a few years experience at a company instead as an externship.  It's cheaper than paying for college, you can probably get the same results in half the time and leaves him with much needed experience.  Now Mario choose not to do this route because he already has two children, one of them being special needs at that, which really need him at home with them.  Therefore, he didn't have the time to work and then go work part-time again somewhere else for free.  So he still chooses an online school that enables him to be home with his children.  He wishes he would have volunteered in his younger days though as he realizes the potential it could of had. 

So see here is part of where my thinking lye’s as the saying goes there are many paths to Rome, yet we as a society are trained to think inside this box.  Were all shaped into these little molds like trained puppets.  That's exactly what I'm all about breaking. 

Now for a while I have wanted to spread the word about Sensory Processing Disorder awareness as my son has SPD.  One of the things I wanted to share with other families going through this is that a service dog can help their child.  After all, not many people think of a service dog when a child has SPD.  So I decided right there and then I would write a book about it to get the awareness out.  So I did.  Upon its completion I had to find a Publisher after talking to sever Publishers and Authors it is my believe that Authors weren't getting paid what they should.  Now don't get me wrong the book was for awareness first and foremost and not compensation but being a stay at home Mom with a very low family income you can see opportunity was knocking at my door. 

So I opened the door, big and wide and accepted opportunity   I researched and researched and with my Husbands excellent computer skills, I decided to open my own Publishing company- Sensational Publications- that flipped the whole business around and helped Authors.  Instead of putting money in our (the publishers) hands we put it where it belongs in the Authors hands.  Why would we want to do this when we are WAY underpaid as a result?  Simple because we sleep better at night.  There's a sense of pride when you know you’re helping people not get ripped off.  So we opened our own self-publishing company and we charge less than any other self-publisher on the market, yet we still offer all, and often times more of the perks of the other companies. 

And that right there is what this year is about.  I'm changing myself to be the person I want to be, and as an effect changing the world.  I'm leaving it a little better than it was before I started.  This one business I created has the potential to change thousands of lives and who knows where the extra money we help them receive will go.  I love picturing it helping a family thrive. 

It's not just all business though.  I've woke up all areas of my life.  My health is a big one.  I weigh 214 pounds as of writing this, yet I am only 5ft. tall.  4' 11" if you go by the children museum at Navy Pier's measurements.  I estimated by using my bmi that I carry around 80 pound's of pure fat.  How disgusting is that?  Why, laziness?  Love for chemical laden food?  There's many different answers to that, but the point is I have been sleep walking through my health.  Until now that is. 

For years now I have known and wanted to do a juicing diet.  Being that my son is Gluten Free I also wanted to start that too.  Then there's dairy.  Oh I love cheese products.  I love to eat slice of cheese, after slice of cheese, day in and day out while standing at my kitchen fridge.  The thing about cheese though is sometimes it makes my throat swell, probably my body's way of saying stop eating this stuff by the handful.  So here I am a couple days ago after a cheese feast as well call it and my throat starts swelling again, but this time it doesn't stop there I have severe chest pains.  They bring tears to my eyes they hurt so bad I also feel nauseated and lightheaded.  Now after about an hour or so it luckily stopped.  But I remember I kept thinking what the heck am I doing?  I have kids I want to live to see have their own Grandkids.  I have to stop this now.

So that was it I woke up.  I started juicing the next day.  And for now on I'm not buying anymore cheese or wheat products for our home.  We’re going to juice several times a day enjoy salads, fresh fruit, vegetables, and nuts in-between.  I may occasionally eat things like chicken breast or so on but I definitely won't be eating again like I have in the past.  It disgusts me to think of all the knowledge I have in nutrient and to know that I never put it to use on myself.  I always just applied it to my children.  Now it's my turn to be the best me I know how to be. 

I'm especially looking forward to the juicing as I have always had an issue with anger.  I think it's inherited down the line as many people I know especially my own Mother has huge Temper issues.  I discovered on accident that vitamins have a phenomenal impact as a mood stabilizer for me.  I bought my son some really good high quality children’s gummy vitamins and since they are so tasty I have been popping them in my mouth like candy myself.  I would eat about 5 or 6 a day even though it's supposed to be 2 a day.   Now I know I know that's so bad, but listen to the results.  I have been angry, mad, even mean for a long time.  Never towards my kids but just in general an unhappiness in me.  I also strongly hate to be cuddled or touched even by my own husband don't know why it's just the way I am.  About a week into this vitamin popping an amazing thing happened.  I was happy it felt like some heavy weight was lifted off of me.  Nothing in my life changed everything was the same but I changed.  I even actually craved to be closer to Mario.  I can't say I'm a huge cuddlier but you have to understand i didn't even like sitting right next to people I just really needed my space.  Now I constantly ask Mario to come sit my me.  I've caught myself whose a bit germ aphobic and afraid to hold hands, reaching out and for Mario's hand randomly.  Those these changes are small and really not even noticeable to an outsider these are phenomenal inside a marriage.  I've even randomly been hugging Mario.  Not something I easily do, but I enjoy hugs now.  It's all because of the vitamins.

Again, something I have studied somewhat religiously looking for answers for my own son but never applied it to myself.  So now, I am continuing my vitamins, and adding vitamin D since I have been tested as Vitamin D deficient for years.  The juicing really excites me because if I did this great off of vitamins imagine the effects real live vitamins and minerals will have.  All those live vitamins working there health benefits on me, I'm so excited to feel these results.  That's why even though juicing will be the hardest part to do it's the one I want to do the most.  From all the knowledge I have I know my brain will go into a bit of a fog initially for the first 3 days or so while my body is getting rid of so many toxins.  That combined with hunger pains is a really painful thought.  None the less the benefits will be worth it. 

So on our next payday I start the diet part of the real me.  I'm going to be the best me in and out, no more hiding in a mold built by society.  Society can promote chemical laden products all they want but ultimately I am sick of being sick. 

I'm also done thinking I can't do something, publishing my first book has been a huge eye opener I can do anything I put my mind to.  How?  Simple, by doing it!  There are no limits in my life, obstacles can be worked around and concurred, and I intend to concur any that stand in my way.

The wonderful thing is I'm never alone in this journey no matter how free and wild my thinking gets as these layers keep peeling off my Husband is always by my side every step of the way.  My children also encourage me more and more that I do need to aspire to be the best me.  Ultimately becoming the best me allows me to be the best Mom for them.  The impact I leave on my kids is one that I tend to make the best and most positive I possibly can if peeling layers off is one way of doing this then, well here comes the real me world!

SPD help

2 help Emilio:

(seen these on a webpage these are the symptoms that apply directly to Emilio)

Proprioception

• 

  Proprioception involves the sense of the body's position and is also broken down into other groups. A child with proprioceptive dysfunction that is under-responsive appears clumsy, bumps into things often, and moves in a stiff way. An over-responsive child loves to jump and crash, enjoys bear hugs and may be aggressive with other children. Heavy work activities are imperative for this type of disorder. Carrying heavy objects, pushing a wheelbarrow or pulling a wagon, and wearing a weighted vest or heavy backpack are all helpful ideas for the proprioceptive sense. They may also enjoy being sandwiched between two pillows or squished.

Oral

• A child with oral dysfunction will also be either hypersensitive or hyposensitive. Oral hypersensitivity includes being a picky eater with extreme food preferences and difficulty with sucking, chewing, or swallowing. Hyposensitivity includes licking, tasting or chewing on inedible objects. The child may also like intensely flavored foods and frequently chew on pens, pencils, or shirt. These are the children who have difficulties with speech, eating, are constantly putting things in their mouth, drooling, or never eating anything besides applesauce and yogurt. Chewy foods such as dried fruit, licorice, and gum give oral input and whistles and straws are inexpensive and easy to use. Have the child blow bubbles or play with a chew tube. Toothbrushes can also be used for the hyposensitive child.

Vestibular

• Vestibular involves the sense of movement and is further broken down into hyposensitive and hypersensitive. A child who is hypersensitive is often fearful of heights, afraid of falling, and dislikes uneven ground, whereas a hyposensitive child craves any possible movement experience, especially fast or spinning. Movement toys include swing sets, trampolines, rocking toys, and scooter boards. The child can also bounce or lie on an exercise ball with the help of an adult to get the vestibular input he/she needs.

  
  

  Tactile

  • 

    Tactile refers to the sense of touch. The brain ineffectively processes input from the skin receptors about touch, pressure, temperature, pain and movement on the skin. Children who experience tactile defensiveness can be overwhelmed by everyday experiences and activities. They may not like textured materials or items, sand, glue or paint that might get them dirty, hugs and kisses, and certain clothing textures. Tactile experiences need to be introduced slowly and gradually as the child is ready to experience them. Items can include feathers, vibrating toys, shaving cream and play dough, and sand and water tables. An equally effective activity is body brushing. A plastic surgical scrub brush is applied with rapid and firm pressure touch to the arms, hands, back, legs and feet.

  
  

Read more: Toys and Activities for Sensory Integration | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/info_8483260_toys-activities-sensory-integration.html#ixzz2BnLHFVzi

SPD is...

SPD is when your child run's before he walks and hasn't stopped running...

.... caring earphones with you incase your child has to use a public bathroom, or anything else loud...

....having to leave the grocery store and having to skip all the other stops because your son is too overwhelmed ... not getting a moment to yourself EVER.... when you worry daily constantly about your son..... when you've read over 20 books on SPD talked to more therapists and doctors that you can count, belong to ten different SPD groups and can never have enough information on the subject.... when all you want to do is one on one play therapy with him all day to help him but you are extremely exhausted.... having the most hyper child anyone has ever meet in there lives.... having others tell you to your face constantly you are a bad Mom because you cannot control your child.... protecting his brother from harm from him because he doesn't understand he can hurt him.... spending MONTHS obsessing worrying what education route will be best for him knowing he can't sit still in a traditional  class, and having to find a place that isn't too overwhelming from too much noise or visuals for your son... listing to your son talking about how much his body hurts.... spending three times as much on food safe for him.... working around three different therapists schedules... having to answer what EVERY noise is over and over and over and over and over and over all day long everyday, noises you yourself have to stop everything your doing and strain to hear like a car alarm 3 blocks away when all your windows are closed.... when you give up having the t.v. on because it overwhelms your child.... when you give up going to people's houses because your afraid he be given junk food.... having to explain to a preschooler why he's not aloud to have a sucker he was just given....  dealing with the temper tantrums when having to deny him candy that is not "safe" for him to eat... when you know even though he's 3 now he still can't have toys with small parts because he puts most of everything he touches in his mouth.... getting bitten is normal.... making room in your living room for a trampoline.... buying a two year old pull-up bars.... having to listen to temper tantrums because you cut his food.... trying to explain his food is not hurt when he bites it.... knowing what fabrics he doesn't like against his skin... worrying about his future more times then one could count everyday.... wanting to go to work so bad but knowing you can't because he needs so much constant care.... not being able to go anywhere by yourself unless you sneak out at nap time and be home by the time he wakes so you can be there every second he is awake because he needs so much care... having to give up everything you do so because your day is spent keeping your kids safe every second they are awake.... praying like crazy he will be able to control his spd.... seeing your child work with his therapist trying to understand different emotions but only recognizing the happy emotion.... having to hear everything you say repeated over and over, having your own echo machine.... having to answer the same question five times in a roll while he processes it.... him crying he's hurt when you touch him lightly... wondering what form of discipline you can use when talking doesn't work, you don't want to yell scream or hit him, but when he's in time outs he bangs his head violently on his door.... canceling vacations because you know you could never leave him with anyone because he needs so much care and he needs to follow such a strict diet... not being able to vacation with him because he has trouble sitting still in the car and on trains, and can't fly on a plane because it hurts his ears....having to shut the computer off because the humm is too loud and hurts his ears... avoiding people coming over, or going to people's houses because they have the t.v. on too loud for him...not wanting people over in fear they will bring soda over he can't handle.... staying up way too late because it is the only time the whole day you have time to eat, and sit down..... loving him enough that you always feel guilty your not doing enough.... 

SPD

At the time of writing this I am scared beyond tears.  Emilio has been doing so good lately that I dare even said it's like he doesn't really even have SPD anymore.  Then over the weekend I wanted 2 redo our bedroom and Emilio's bedroom so Mario took the kids to my parents house where he missed nap time by three and a half hours and filled up on gummy bears, suckers and cookies all with artificial flavors  colors, and preservatives.  For a normal child the effects wouldn't  be too bad maybe a little hyper something they would sleep off.  With Emilio it's two days later and the effects are devastating   It's like he's a totally different child.  All his therapists even commented today over and over that they can't believe this is the same child and how bad that food had an effect on him.  As of today Emilio's visits over there will be limited to Holidays only and if this happens again it won't even be that nothing is more important then my children s health and safety and I don't care who gets mad about it Emilio's health and safety come first.  It's been so long since I've been worried to tears like this about his health, since we moved here in August anyway.  Well he did have the Asthma scares but I haven't been so worried about his SPD since then.  He's also been waking up in the night lately.  On the bright side it looks like NorthStar will be getting Ol' Toodles for us soon.  He should be born on or right by Emilio's 3rd birthday.  He can't come soon enough.  I'm so scared sometimes its like Emilio's in his own world somewhere and doesn't quite reach us.  I keep praying his disability will go away, be completely under control   We put up pull up bars for him today and picked out a really big indoor trampoline for him for his birthday gift next month.  I just am so worried right now.  No more short cuts with his food from anyone!  I know for sure without a doubt now all that extra time, money and effort we put into his food is unmeasurably worth it and I definitely won't stop getting him as much organic food as I can and  chemical free food!  

In other news, our family is going to start seriously juicing mid Nov.  Mario and I are both very excited about this although at the moment all I can think about is worry for Emilio.  

I want my sweet little boy back.  Sure at his sweetest he is still the wildest child ever, but at least HE'S HERE with us, at times like this it's like he's absent from himself.  So scary!  

I just told Mario to leave with Emmett so I can do one-one therapy with Emilio all day tomorrow  so hopefully I can get my Emilio back within the next 24hours.  This is it I'm not going to lose my boy from chemicals in our food, and missed schedules.  In the future I don't care who thinks I'm crazy or mean, or whatever my son is sticking to his schedule and his healthier foods.

Quotes from Peter Gray's unschooling survey

"Unschooling equals freedom in learning and in life. We push aside paradigms and established regulations with regards to schooling and trust our children to pave their own way in their own educations. Everything they want to experience has value. We trust them."


"We define unschooling as creating an enriching environment for our children where natural learning and passions can flourish. We want our life to be about connection—to each other, to our interests and passions, to a joyful life together....As a parent, I am my children's experienced partner and guide and I help them to gain access to materials and people that they might not otherwise have access to. I introduce them to things, places, people that I think might be interesting to them, but I do not push them or feel rejected or discouraged if they do not find it interesting...."


 "The other big benefit is that my kids have such a love of learning and of life, which was never destroyed by conventional school. So we don't have the kind of power struggles that other parents seem to have over bedtimes and homework. ... After all, happy relationships should ideally not be based on power issues. I can truly say that we are free of that, and that we spend time together as a family not because we are forced to, but because we enjoy it and love each other. What could be better than that?"


"Seeing the kids learn things naturally, and at their own pace without forcing them. Seeing the amount of creativity and imagination my kids have because they aren't expected to conform and be followers. Seeing them become very involved and interested in subjects that I wouldn't have imagined."


"Watching my children learn so much so effortlessly. I watched my 5 year old daughter teach herself to read and write. It was the most amazing thing to watch. It was like she was a codebreaker."


"The biggest benefits have been witnessing our daughters' creativity blossom full force, their ability to think outside the box when presented with problems, their resourcefulness, and their genuine desire to ask questions and learn as much as they can about the world around them. Also, seeing them internalize the lesson that making mistakes is a necessary and wonderful platform for growth and further learning, which means they see mistakes as a positive and necessary part of their education. They're not afraid to try their hand at just about anything."


"The list is endless: Most important: that learning was simply a normal part of everyday life, as natural and as necessary as breathing-never something confined to a specific place or time. But also: Being able to spend so much time together, getting to know each other so well. Being able to travel whenever we wanted (useful when the girls began fencing competitively, too-we never had to worry about school releases). That the girls OWNED their learning-despite their occasional doubts, by the time they reached adulthood, they knew how to go about learning anything they were interested in because they'd been able to do that all their lives. That the girls grew up curious and could indulge that curiosity. That the girls were not subjected to school textbooks and could read what we still think of as "real" books. That the girls learned for themselves how to organize and prioritize their time and energy to get things done. That we had the leisure not only to learn what and where we wanted, but to figure out the best ways we learned, which could change from year to year and subject to subject. That nobody had to ask permission for bathroom breaks. That we could eat while we read if we wanted to."


"The curiosity that he had as a 3 or 4 year old is still there. He thinks life is interesting and fun. He has confidence in his ability to do anything he wants to do."

"The curiosity that he had as a 3 or 4 year old is still there. He thinks life is interesting and fun. He has confidence in his ability to do anything he wants to do."

• "A huge reduction in stress for our kids and me... being able to sleep and eat on our own natural schedule ...learning at their own pace, in ways that work best for them, information and skills that they chose to learn, and therefore coming to enjoy learning!
Freedom! [My children] got to live as free people, and blossomed as individuals! They had the time to figure out who they are, what they enjoy and are interested in; had opportunities to learn and do all kinds of interesting things that schooled children typically don't have time for; were free from thebullying and threats (from the teachers) at school; and had a group of homeschooled friends who were/are very nice, generally happy and optimistic, friendly, interesting and interested people."

"Hands down, the relationship with our kids has flourished. We have never gone through the typical teen angst or rebellion so often touted as normal. I don't think it is. If you build up your family life where members work together and help one another, where the focus is on happy learning, it's hard NOT to get along and enjoy each other's company! Schools have an insidious way of pitting parents against kids and eroding the relationship that could flourish outside of that environment. When kids, and all people really, can relax and enjoy life and learn and pursue interests, they are happy. When people are happy, they get along better, they work together and inspire one another, learn from one another and grow stronger and healthier. All of that has spilled over into marriage life and all family relationships, including siblings. I knew without a doubt that the learning would happen and that it would be amazing! I didn't expect the stark difference in our relationship with our kids, as compared to what I thought it should be like by what I saw in other families with kids in school."

Freedom to Learn

The roles of play and curiosity as foundations for learning

by Peter Gray

The Benefits of Unschooling: Report I from a Survey of 231 Families

What, to unschoolers, are the benefits of skipping school?

Published on February 28, 2012 by Peter Gray in Freedom to Learn

• "The biggest benefits have been witnessing our daughters' creativity blossom full force, their ability to think outside the box when presented with problems, their resourcefulness, and their genuine desire to ask questions and learn as much as they can about the world around them. Also, seeing them internalize the lesson that making mistakes is a necessary and wonderful platform for growth and further learning, which means they see mistakes as a positive and necessary part of their education. They're not afraid to try their hand at just about anything."
• "Trust!. This unschooling path has taught me to trust my instincts and to trust my children to know what feels right to them. There is no perfect life but mistakes are our mirror to see what we would have done differently and how we will decide now with the knowledge we have."
• "The list is endless: Most important: that learning was simply a normal part of everyday life, as natural and as necessary as breathing-never something confined to a specific place or time. But also: Being able to spend so much time together, getting to know each other so well. Being able to travel whenever we wanted (useful when the girls began fencing competitively, too-we never had to worry about school releases). That the girls OWNED their learning-despite their occasional doubts, by the time they reached adulthood, they knew how to go about learning anything they were interested in because they'd been able to do that all their lives. That the girls grew up curious and could indulge that curiosity. That the girls were not subjected to school textbooks and could read what we still think of as "real" books. That the girls learned for themselves how to organize and prioritize their time and energy to get things done. That we had the leisure not only to learn what and where we wanted, but to figure out the best ways we learned, which could change from year to year and subject to subject. That nobody had to ask permission for bathroom breaks. That we could eat while we read if we wanted to."

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• "The curiosity that he had as a 3 or 4 year old is still there. He thinks life is interesting and fun. He has confidence in his ability to do anything he wants to do."
• "A huge reduction in stress for our kids and me... being able to sleep and eat on our own natural schedule ...learning at their own pace, in ways that work best for them, information and skills that they chose to learn, and therefore coming to enjoy learning!
Freedom! [My children] got to live as free people, and blossomed as individuals! They had the time to figure out who they are, what they enjoy and are interested in; had opportunities to learn and do all kinds of interesting things that schooled children typically don't have time for; were free from thebullying and threats (from the teachers) at school; and had a group of homeschooled friends who were/are very nice, generally happy and optimistic, friendly, interesting and interested people."
• "Another huge benefit is that [my son's] stress levels are way down, and he is happy. I realized by keeping him in school, I was stifling his creativity, his passions, and teaching him he must put those things on the back burner and conform to what society thinks is best for him to learn.... He wants to work and make money, and now he is also free to contribute to society in a valuable way instead of being in a classroom all day."
• "I got my son back. The school wanted him ‘diagnosed' with something he doesn't have... he's just a super creative, intensely sensitive kid who has so much to offer the world just as he is. ... He has never had a problem getting along with other kids. He makes friends everywhere he goes and is still in touch with his school friends too. Unschooling has been such a blessing for us it has taken the stress off of my son (as well as me) and allows him to follow his bliss... and create and imagine and think for himself. He reads better now than he ever did in school."
• "One example is that of control. My youngest is a walking power struggle; she can turn any moment into a fight for control. By allowing her education be her choice and responsibility, we have a far better relationship and she spends her energy learning instead of fighting. (We have enough to fight over with whether she will brush her teeth or wear weather-appropriate clothes, after all.)"
• "I feel like I'm trying to answer a question about the benefits of breathing. We don't have to schedule, assume, judge, direct, or anxiously evaluate. We just get to enjoy each other. My son gets to live a life focused on what he loves at the moment."
• "I love watching my kids grow and learn and ask questions. I love having one less thing to worry about (finding the time for "school") and I love being able to skip curriculum shopping and planning. I also look around at other homeschoolers and feel sorry for their constant stress and worry. (Is my kid learning enough? Did we pick the right curriculum? How much does homeschooling cost?) I see traditional homeschoolers so burned out by the stress they make for themselves. Don't they know their kids will learn despite them?"
• "Hands down, the relationship with our kids has flourished. We have never gone through the typical teen angst or rebellion so often touted as normal. I don't think it is. If you build up your family life where members work together and help one another, where the focus is on happy learning, it's hard NOT to get along and enjoy each other's company! Schools have an insidious way of pitting parents against kids and eroding the relationship that could flourish outside of that environment. When kids, and all people really, can relax and enjoy life and learn and pursue interests, they are happy. When people are happy, they get along better, they work together and inspire one another, learn from one another and grow stronger and healthier. All of that has spilled over into marriage life and all family relationships, including siblings. I knew without a doubt that the learning would happen and that it would be amazing! I didn't expect the stark difference in our relationship with our kids, as compared to what I thought it should be like by what I saw in other families with kids in school."
• "Watching our children's interest in learning grow rather than diminish, and seeing them use their knowledge regularly in conversation and in play with others, rather than "dumping" it after a test."
• "The happiness and joy we experience every day is the biggest benefit. Our lives are essentially stress free since we are living our lives the way we want by making the choices that feel good for us. We have a very close relationship built on love, mutual trust, and mutual respect. As an educator I see that my daughter has amazing critical thinking skills that many of my adult college students lack. ... My daughter lives and learns in the real world and loves it. What more could I ask for?"
• "Looking at my grown children, I can see that both are securely self-motivated, both are much more social and outgoing than I was at their ages, both are living lives they have crafted out of their own interests and talents. That is deeply satisfying. In addition, we all have a strong connection which has grown directly from our shared experiences throughout their childhoods."
• "I have seen my sons' passions bloom. They are happy and expressive and take pride in themselves and their projects. They are knowledgeable about so many more things than their schooled peers. They have a mindset that is not hampered by negativity or limitations, something more common with their schooled peers. They have big imaginations."


"My daughter's happiness, her curiosity, her love of exploration, her freedom. Our freedom as a family, the cooperative nature of our relationships and the trust between us that remains intact."

On divorce

Some great advice:


Don't even wonder. Don't even waste a minute of your time considering it. All your energy should be directed at solutions within your marriage.

 www.retrouvaille.org has a great marriage weekend program.

Monkey Platters

Oh my gosh is this not the coolest idea ever!?!  I can't wait next payday I'm buying my platter with the divided cubbies and making this for our family!!

http://sandradodd.com/eating/monkeyplatter