Sometimes people say they are using "logical" or "natural" consequences to
teach their children. These are typically euphemisms for a form of
punishment - a way to "negatively reinforce" certain behaviors. This is the
flip side of reward training. If a child leaves a toy outdoors and it
begins to rain, the parent may call it a natural or logical consequence to
leave the toy outdoors to be ruined. I call it mean and that is exactly
what the child will think of it.
Is there an alternative? Yes. Relationship- based parenting is living in a
household with each person giving and getting what they need, including
support and encouragement and information. Parents take responsibility for
being kind and generous with their children while their their children are
growing into kind and responsible people, themselves. The parents do this
by BEING kind and generous and responsible with their children. Children
learn what they live with.
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